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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 33-year-old dad, percussionist, sysadmin, Web developer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the service manager at Weston Technologies. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.

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No Wonder He's Hiding

Osama's penile implant is stuck in the "on" position.

Snapshots obtained by CIA operatives in Afghanistan show the terror kingpin looking sheepishly at a camera while covering his naughty bits with crossed hands, which the CIA source insists "is all for show because it's a known fact that Osama has a teeny weenie and could have shielded himself with a pinkie."

The source went on to note that Osama "is severely diabetic. According to our best intelligence, he got the implant in Saudi Arabia in November of 1999 to compensate for circulation problems that left him impotent at the height of his sizzling and well-publicized gay affair with Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein."

Posted by Jake on 11/14/04 @ 01:08 PM
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