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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 31-year-old dad, percussionist, freelance Web designer, consultant and jack-of-all-trades computer geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the IT Director and Ad Designer at both Sunray and Discover Sunriver. He has LinkedIn, MySpace, Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets. This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Internet connection provided by BendBroadBand. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 5529 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 18149 comments. If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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Sick and Politically Incorrect JokesSome of these are really sick, but I'm sorry, but I did laugh at some of them (and yes, I'm going straight to hell for it, I'm sure). Some examples from the aforementioned site: What's black and has 27 breasts?? What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? What did the blind, deaf, mute boy get for Christmas? Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Posted by Jake on 09/19/04 @ 04:01 PM
Posted in Funny, Sick | 103 Comments | Permalink Submit to digg, del.icio.us, reddit, or stumbleupon 1 TrackbackMost Commented On Entries from UtterlyBoring.com on 09/11/07 @ 09:10 AM:It's been a while since I've done this, but here are the 30 most commented-on entries on this site. Much of it is either a) Idiot Bait, b) Crazy People... (Read More) 103 Commentszenwanderer said on 09/20/04 @ 06:38 AM:Those are so bad. Funny, but really bad. Val said on 09/20/04 @ 04:32 PM: I hope you don't burn in hell for posting those. ;-) kimbo said on 10/12/04 @ 06:38 AM: i think these are definately on the rite page "sick" but ther funny especialy the wheelchair one lol xxxxx kieran said on 11/20/04 @ 02:33 PM: whats 12 inches long and scares women? Cot death kieran said on 11/20/04 @ 02:34 PM: How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Make her clap her hands until daddy comes home. Nameless One said on 12/11/04 @ 01:19 PM: Q: whats blue and screws old ladies? A: Hypothermia carl said on 03/04/05 @ 04:07 AM: Why did Hitler commit suicide??? - He got the gas bill BOB said on 03/11/05 @ 02:31 AM: nice jokes. i hope you like mine. q.how many iraq's are there in iraq? a.whats iraq....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha SmegHead said on 03/11/05 @ 02:33 AM: Hey BOB cool joke wanna hear mine? BOB said on 03/11/05 @ 02:34 AM: yeah of course i do SmegHead said on 03/11/05 @ 02:35 AM: Knock Knock Who's There? A Paki ARRRGGGGHHH DIE BITCH DIE! sean said on 04/28/05 @ 01:37 AM: whats red and screams? peeled baby in a bag of salt andy said on 05/17/05 @ 04:00 AM: Heres a good one. Q What do you call a load of whelchairs stacked on top of each other in a kitchen A A vegetable rack Ramona said on 05/18/05 @ 11:02 PM: What's red and slimy and crawls up a chick's leg? A homesick abortion Ramona said on 05/18/05 @ 11:04 PM: What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim ooohhh, hehehehe... Lucan said on 05/29/05 @ 05:32 AM: What's bright purple and drives a truck? He's my nigger, I'll paint him any damn colour I want! What do twenty thousand battered women have in common? They don't fucking listen! What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice. sick little fox said on 06/11/05 @ 04:00 PM: haha! how do they know diana had dandruff? they found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment! Andrew said on 08/19/05 @ 05:22 AM: What do you call 100 black men in a field? The good old days... Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A Pizza doesnt scream when you push it the oven... Ben said on 02/14/06 @ 07:13 PM: Why did the blind man cross the road? He didn't. Ben said on 02/14/06 @ 07:14 PM: What did the Cancer woman get for Christmas? An operation. Ben said on 02/14/06 @ 07:20 PM: Why did the cerebral paulsey drown? cos he cant swim. is it me or do people with cerebral paulsey walk like a pupet. zfgafds said on 02/25/06 @ 06:17 PM: whats the worst thing about having sex with 4 yr olds? cleaning the blood out of the clown suit. whats the difference between a baby and an apple? i dont cum in an apple before i eat it. whats the difference between aborting a mission and aborting a baby? aborting a mission isnt funny. whats funnier than september 11? all the orphans. what do u do after raping a blind, dumb girl? break her fingers so she cant tell anyone. what did the blind, deaf, dumb, orphan get for christmas? cancer. im very sorry for those who read these. Marrons said on 03/12/06 @ 08:03 PM: Why did so many black people die in Vietnam ? Because when the General told them to get down, they started dancing Cal said on 04/02/06 @ 03:38 AM: yeah mlawrence_11. Lol Marrons nice joke Ley said on 05/31/06 @ 08:01 PM: The jokes posted so far are sick and i almost pissed myself with most of them.heres some more How do you get a jewish girls number? -roll up her sleeve What kind of pizza was a favourite at the world trade center? -two plains whats worse than two dead babies in a trash can? -one dead baby in two trash cans Andyb666 said on 07/11/06 @ 11:32 AM: Whats the best thing about having sex with 27 year olds... Theres 20 of them. perch said on 08/19/06 @ 03:43 AM: What's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage. ET said on 08/28/06 @ 01:01 PM: What does a pedohpile use for lube? -tears Cyrus said on 09/05/06 @ 02:17 PM: Did you hear they had to pull Steve Irwin's line of sun care products off the shelves? Apparently they don't protect you from harmful rays. Disturbed1 said on 09/13/06 @ 07:47 PM: Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers: Some of them go through 110 stories in five seconds. oigyvouivpuvupvpyvi said on 09/15/06 @ 09:06 AM: wat did micheal jackson get for christma a trampoline for his baby brett said on 09/25/06 @ 09:11 PM: What's the best thing about having sex with a baby? You get to make your own hole What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne doesn't come on a kids face until he's about 13 or so Gator637 said on 10/13/06 @ 05:56 PM: what breaks during sex? A three year olds pelvis Whats the difference between a nigger an a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 4 Tonto said on 11/13/06 @ 02:09 PM: what happens when a jew runs into a wall with a erection. he brakes his nose. what do you call 1 paki on the moon a problem what do you call 2 pakis on the moon a problem what do you call all the pakis on the moon. problem solved Tonto said on 11/13/06 @ 02:10 PM: what did a black see when he looked up his family tree? nothing a monkey shat on him! snoogens said on 11/21/06 @ 10:27 AM: Why was it strange to see Michael Jackson dangeling his kids off a balcony? Normally he just tosses them off. How do you know its bedtime in Michael Jackson's house? The big hand touches the little hand. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. Man and a little girl are walking into the woods, the little girl says "its dark im scared." The man replies: "i dunno why you're scared i'm the one who's gotta walk back by himself." Ross said on 12/14/06 @ 07:04 PM: What's the best thing about a ten year old girl? Flip her over and you've got a ten year old boy. Hannah said on 12/28/06 @ 06:47 PM: what do you get when you cut a baby with a razor blade? An erection! Scott said on 03/02/07 @ 02:34 PM: How do you get 1000 babies into a barrel? With a blender. How do you get them back out? With cornchips. What's small, black and in a box? A baby in an oven. How do you fit 100 jews into a car? In the ash tray. How do you kill a bunch of retards on a bus? Put poison on the windows. emily said on 03/13/07 @ 05:54 PM: what gets louder as it gets smaller a baby in a trash compactor parris said on 03/24/07 @ 11:48 AM: why should you always put a baby in a blender feet first? so you can cum in its sreaming face HogKat said on 04/24/07 @ 10:10 AM: What does a blind and deaf 7 year old girl do when you put her in the microwave? I don't know. I was too busy masturbating! Cyrus said on 04/24/07 @ 07:31 PM: What did Michael Jackson say when he got out of jail? "I feel like a kid again!" The Mick said on 05/05/07 @ 09:47 PM: We shouldn't make fun of black people. I have a black person in my family tree. And that nigger's been hanging there for two weeks. Ronald said on 05/21/07 @ 09:18 PM: What does the KKK and Nike have in common? They both make black people run faster. Why are black people so strong? TV's are getting heavier. Q: What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg? A: Stop laughing and reload Qwai-Lo said on 07/04/07 @ 07:47 AM: Why are aspirin white? Well, you want them to work don't you? paul said on 07/24/07 @ 10:50 AM: wots blue and orange and lies on the bottam of a swimming pool! a baby with bust arm bands paul said on 07/24/07 @ 10:52 AM: wot do u call a chink who beats up his wife! just chined her paul said on 07/24/07 @ 10:53 AM: why could superman save the pep in the twin towers! could not get his wheelchair over the rubble! LocalKCGreenPOO said on 09/13/07 @ 09:22 PM: You people are sick, twisted,, undesirable, pathetic excuses for human wasteland and I would like to personally invite each and every one of you to my house for a ferking party. Killer party I think. Wonder wich of you will get it first? My party so it won't be me. Earz said on 09/14/07 @ 04:55 AM: Why shouldnt you take the piss out of a midget with down syndrome? Its not big and its not clever. What would teh flinstones be called if they were black? Niggers! Whats the worst thing about gang rape? waiting yoru turn Tonto said on 09/16/07 @ 01:22 PM: sorry guys but i'm finding some of the jewish jokes offensive my grandad died in the holocaust in a nazi consentration camp, he fell out the watch tower! John said on 09/28/07 @ 10:31 PM: How do you stop a black man from going out? Pour more gas on him. Ben said on 09/29/07 @ 04:29 AM: What do you call a dead bady with a dislocated jaw? Deepthroat! What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. What did Princess Diana turn into at midnight? A wall! What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were still alive? Stratching at the lid of her coffin. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. (I will also take any alive person as an acceptable answer) Mukesh Gupta said on 10/01/07 @ 04:33 AM: whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? i dont have a ferrari in my garage. why do u put a baby into a blender feet first? so u can keep ur cock in it mouth longer whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby? you take ur shoes off before jumping on the trampoline. how do u stop a baby crawling in circles? nail its other hand to the floor Mukesh Gupta said on 10/01/07 @ 04:35 AM: Who will pick up the soap when it is dropped in jail?? Dines Richard said on 10/19/07 @ 10:37 AM: My wife made a great sandwich last night. I’m going to miss her. —Jeffrey Dahmer hen said on 10/23/07 @ 03:53 PM: what do you do if your wife has an epileptic fit in the bath? chuck the dishes in.. chargrill said on 11/14/07 @ 06:03 AM: what is the difference between a baby and a freezer a freezer doesnt scream when you put your meat in it! homer said on 11/15/07 @ 12:14 PM: Whats Gross? 2 Vampires fighting over a bloody Kotex. homer said on 11/15/07 @ 12:15 PM: whats grosser? the one that wins! Death Dealer said on 11/23/07 @ 06:06 PM: I hope all of you who posted these sick jokes go and burn in hell... i cant believe you horrid people would encourage this poster with sick shit of your own... it's people like you that make the destruction of the human race a GOOD thing... go to f--king hell you pathetic sick jerk offs i bet you'd do all that to your own mothers wouldnt you? luke tones said on 11/25/07 @ 07:09 AM: I love choking little girls with my whopper chopper and fingering there bum holes with seamen as lube Spaz said on 11/25/07 @ 10:19 AM: Why does Beyonce always sing 'to the left to the left' Because black people dont have any rights. Pob said on 11/26/07 @ 02:24 AM: A sad tale..... A Pakki in my street doused himself in petrol and set him self on fire and died. We are now making a collection for his family, so far we have 60 gallons. swinnea1 said on 11/26/07 @ 01:31 PM: a nigger a spic and a white guy found a genie the genie said they could all have one wish so the nigger said "i want all my nigger brothers back in africa" 'poof' all the niggers are in africa the wetback said i want all my wetback brother to b in mexico again 'poof' all the wetbacks r in mexico then the genie asked the white guy what he wanted and he said "you mean all the niggers and spics are out of america?, I'll just have a coke" HogKat said on 11/27/07 @ 12:33 PM: Dear DeathDealer, Take a deep breath and repeat this: "THEY'RE JUST JOKES!" over and over. The world really has become a sad place when people can't tell the difference between sickness and a joke. AND, if you don't like this type of humor, why are you on this website? HYPOCRITE! Luv, Hogkat anon said on 11/29/07 @ 09:50 AM: What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape! zappa said on 12/18/07 @ 05:57 PM: at last ive found something on the internet that i find offencive , you are a bunch of sick mother f*ckers. who wrote the blender joke? you need help , but everyone here is beond help, ill be back grasshopper! Tonto said on 12/19/07 @ 12:15 PM: latest joke is zappa! Tonto said on 12/19/07 @ 12:16 PM: The once was a man named Dave who kept a dead whore in a cave she smelled like s--t and was missing a tit but think of all the money he saved! Nameless One said on 01/09/08 @ 10:42 PM: you sick evil bastards.one day you'll have kid with a disability and youll know what it feels like to work. Nameless One said on 01/09/08 @ 10:45 PM: f--king arseholes,my mother died of ovarian cancer typical limey yank f--kers Tonto said on 01/10/08 @ 04:12 AM: lol hilarious Hogkat said on 01/10/08 @ 10:37 AM: Dear Nameless One: (AKA: Too chickens--t to print a name)Take a deep breath and repeat this: "THEY'RE JUST JOKES!" over and over. The world really has become a sad place when people can't tell the difference between sickness and a joke. AND, if you don't like this type of humor, why are you on this website? HYPOCRITE! Luv, Hogkat Mr C said on 01/13/08 @ 11:00 AM: A black man takes a girl home after a night dancing. The girl says "Show me what they say about black men." So he stabbed her and stole her purse. big jojo said on 01/22/08 @ 01:20 AM: you people are f--king sick........yet hilarious this s--ts f--kin hysterical omg and to all of those that are opposed to hit ill throw you in the abandoned mineshaft where i throw all of the other bodies so quit whining sam baines said on 01/30/08 @ 01:58 PM: knock knock whos there? green green who? green tractor Hogkat said on 01/30/08 @ 03:06 PM: I don't get it...? Gav said on 02/05/08 @ 12:45 AM: Q. whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A.the holocaust Tonto said on 02/07/08 @ 07:54 AM: What's the best thing about a blow job from an ethiopian woman? You know she'll swallow. How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees A brunette, a blonde and a redhaed are all in third grade. Who has the biggest tits? The blonde, because she's 18. How do you tell if a chick is to fat to f--k? When you pull her pants down and her arse is still in them. Did you hear about the new paint called 'blonde' paint? It's not very bright, but it spreads easily. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Lunacy rules the world said on 03/02/08 @ 08:22 AM: OMG You guys have so made my day!! I so needed a sick twisted laugh! bOOGER said on 03/10/08 @ 12:58 PM: Why does Jesus hate M&M's? They fall through the holes in his hands. fred said on 03/24/08 @ 02:14 PM: wht was the last thing jeses said? dont you bastards eat my easter eggs, im coming back on monday. what do u call disabled people in a swimming pool? vegetable soup whats better than getting a gold medal at the special olympics? not being retarde. and finally... theres nothing wrong with gays, if there was im sure god would have sent some sort of plague to wipe them out Ralph DeMattia said on 03/30/08 @ 07:41 AM: A man is telling a friend about what happened the day before. "I'm walking along the tracks behind my house when I see this gorgeous naked chick near the tracks with the biggest tits I've ever seen, so I f--ked her 3 or 4 times and busted a massive nut each time! It was the best sex I've ever had!" His friend asked did he get a blowjob too, and he said "No, I never found her head!" dan said on 04/02/08 @ 07:32 AM: how do tell the differance between an oral and a rectal thermometer? they taste different dan said on 04/02/08 @ 07:36 AM: a muslin asks the creater of star trek why theres blacks,chinks even aliens but no muslins,the creater replys, as if u don't no,its set in the future zappa said on 04/03/08 @ 07:58 PM: How do you kill a buss full of tards? rub poison on the inside of the windows lizzie said on 06/16/08 @ 04:05 PM: Haha, you guys are so awesome!! These jokes just make me howl with laughter hahaha... i wish i could memorise them all and then feak people out by saying them... heres my contribution: Whats teh worst thing about gangrape? Going Last... and keeping it a secret! Whats small, brown and spits? A baby in a frying pan! What do you get if you smash a baby with a hammer? An erection Whats the difference between a Porshe and 100 dead babies? There isnt a Porshe in my garage! HAHAHAHA Enjoy it my friends, and see you in hell :) At least it will be warm there and we'll know each other :) keenan said on 10/25/08 @ 09:33 AM: im sorry boss i can't come into work 2day. why can't you come into work?im going to be really sick 2day. what do u mean, your going to be sick? im going to rape my sister and leave her wheelchair at the other side of the room thats pretty sick sam said on 11/19/08 @ 12:31 PM: good jokes people. quick question... How can you be both limey and yank? "Nameless One said on 01/09/08 @ 10:45 PM: f--king arseholes,my mother died of ovarian cancer typical limey yank f--kers" HogKat said on 11/19/08 @ 02:02 PM: Q: How do you make a 5-year old cry twice? A: Once when you f--k her and again when you wipe your cock off on her teddy bear! Rachluce said on 02/13/09 @ 12:53 AM: Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron... Lube said on 02/13/09 @ 12:54 AM: Rachluce...thats so funny, the best one on here so far! I high five you Lube said on 02/13/09 @ 12:55 AM: Whats the main cause of paedophilia? Sexy kids Ralph DeMattia said on 02/13/09 @ 04:36 AM: A little girl comes running into the livingroom to her mother screaming "Mommy Mommy, Daddy's throwing up in the bathtub!" "Why are you so upset, dear" her mother asks? "Because Bobby's getting all the big pieces"! Ralph DeMattia said on 02/13/09 @ 04:38 AM: I had to get rid of all my child pornography because my Pornograph broke and they won't work in my DVD player. Valentine's Day---Bummer! Ralph DeMattia said on 02/13/09 @ 04:39 AM: What has 18 legs, two tits, and is older than dirt? THE SUPREME COURT! Ralph DeMattia said on 02/13/09 @ 04:42 AM: What do you call an African American with 2 Batchelor degrees, 3 Masters Degrees, 2 PHD's, their own Fortune 500 company, 6 luxury homes in 4 countries, and an 8 figure income? A NIGGER! SageY91 said on 05/01/09 @ 12:59 PM: whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my cock as i'm doing it! How do you stop a nigger from drowning? take your boot off its head HogKat said on 05/02/09 @ 11:08 AM: What do a fat, white chick and a shingle have in common? Sooner or later they're both gonna get nailed by a mexican or a nigger! LadyLuck said on 05/27/09 @ 08:06 AM: ok here's some for you What sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler! What's more fun than stapling a baby's head to a wall? Ripping it off again! What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's cradle? Paedophile's arse! What do you call twenty Pakis in the back of a truck? Good day's hunting! How do you make a baby run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower! bnennyboy said on 05/29/09 @ 05:22 PM: what is funnier than seeing a blind kid getting raped??? see the blind kid getting raped in a clown costume what sizzles with a loud noise??? a skinless baby in a bath of vinegar what begins with v and has never been laid?? a vegetable why do jews stink coz they are too scared to take a shower thank you and burn in hell for coming on this site in the first place tehee Post a comment |
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