I Need Some Cyanide
An oldie, but a goody...
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist says, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?
The lady explains she needs it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes get big and he says, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'd lose my license. They'd throw both of us in jail!
The lady reaches into her purse, pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and hands it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looks at the photo.
"Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."