FCC tries to ban "F-Word"
They've already banned the "F-Word" and now, according the the Plausible News Service and a forward from Barney and the Well, they're going to just ban the use of the very phrase, the "F-Word".
The Federal Communications Commission, as part of its ongoing crackdown on obscenity following the Janet Jackson Super Bowl debacle, has announced that the very term "F-word," which is used to refer to an obscene word for the sexual act, will be banned from all broadcast media beginning July 1.
"Everybody knows what 'F-word' means," said FCC Chairman Michael Powell, describing the new regulations to the Congressional Subcommittee on Moral Purity chaired by Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL). "So saying 'F-word' should be subject to the same kinds of sanctions as saying -- well, you know."
Discussion among the Congresspeople present soon led to other concerns. "Well, what about when people use words like 'frigging'?" asked Rep. Walter Jones (R-NC). "And then there are all these other variations, like 'fugging' and I don't know what all."
"Hey, don't forget about 'doing the nasty,'" said Rep. Dana Rohrbacher (R-CA). "And what's this about 'doing the butter-churn'? And didn't we have some guy on the radio referring to his sexual glands as 'apricots' or something? Should they be able to get away with stuff like that?"
"I think that was 'avocados,'" said Rep. Jones.
"Well, whatever it was, it's not acceptable. I understand there are even special sound effects involved," said Rohrbacher.
"We should probably look at all those matters as well," said Powell, who later announced a full-fledged investigation into attempts to circumvent obscenity restrictions. "The use of euphemisms and code words to transmit obscene content will not be tolerated," said Powell