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A novel idea: Same-person marriage

Another brilliant commentary from Barney:

Same-sex marriage? That's so 2001. Okay, 2002.

I want to promote same-person marriage.

That's right. I want to marry MYSELF. Me, myself and I -- my goodness, it's almost a menage a trois!

I love me, as all good, right-thinking people should. I'm my best friend. I've known me all my life, sometimes, ahem, in that personal way people only really get to know themselves.

I try to take good care of myself. (Not always succeeding, but I do try). And I forgive myself when I don't. I try to be honest with myself, because I deserve it.

When I look in the mirror, I see a right handsome dude. Others can't see in me what I see in myself. We have a special bond, and even look fondly on "Me and My Shadow," especially when we're strolling down the avenue. Like SNL's Stuart Smalley said, "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough and Doggone It, People Like Me" -- so why shouldn't I pay myself the ultimate compliment, and marry me? (If I'm good enough for myself, that is.)

So I think I'll head to the county clerk's office. If two people of the same sex can legally marry, why can't I marry myself? I want to hear the preacher say, "I now pronounce you ... you."

Haven't you ever just loved something you did, said or ... performed, enough to say, "Boy, I sure love me right now!" Why not be able to profess that love to the whole world?

Now, isn't that special? (No, not a 'special right' - a special ME!;-)

Posted by Jake on 03/05/04 @ 07:45 PM
Posted in Funny | 4 Comments | Permalink



4 Comments

ron said on 03/05/04 @ 10:44 PM:
You forget the purpose. Follow the money. It is about getting pension benefits. The granter of the new right expects dollars to flow in their next election campaign. Imagine if there were no PERS; there would be no same-sex thingy to keep debate flowing.

Barney said on 03/06/04 @ 10:41 AM:
Well, I WAS trying to make a joke, ron;-) But hey, if I marry myself, can't I get 2x the pension benefits? After all, I have to support myself, and I'm not a low-maintenance kinda guy;-)

lauren said on 03/07/04 @ 01:53 AM:
shut the fuck up. i read teh 1st two paragraphs n got fed up, wheres the originality here people? wow that sounded bad, but still bettter then ure shit, you shud let ne one marry n e oneits alll fun n games in teh end.

qdl said on 03/08/04 @ 11:06 AM:
suuure, marrying myself might sound like a good idea at first, until myself and i stay up all night drinking and fighting and 55 hours later, i'll need to get a divorce from myself and run screaming from Las Vegas.



someone tell that troll lauren to ask her first grade teacher for a do-over.

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