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Best Wishes for 2004

May 2004 be good to you and to us all. May your kids be released on their own recognizances and their arrest records sealed. May the funny noise in the your old car turn out to be only the skin of your lost cat, trapped in the fanbelt.

May the mean old lady from the IRS find your house, but be struck by lightning on the front walk. May your doctor smile when he says "I have some rather urgent news for you."

May the guy who sells lottery tickets look up at your approach and shout "gather round people, here he comes!" or "she comes!"

May your wife's boyfriend turn blue and burst into flame from a viagra overdose. Or may your husband's girlfriend's hair fall out, poisoned by silicone leaks.

May the relative who dies and leaves you a fortune be a stupid bastard you never really liked.

May the judge look up and say "guilty? of course you couldn't be guilty--not a sweetheart like you."

May friends with benighted politics write you deathbed letters, confessing they now realize that you were right all their lives, and they were miserably wrong.

May you find great love, and get away with it. May your enemies develop incurable rashes. May you leave this world a better place for your having been here, or at least get an unfair share of the credit.

Thanks to Barney for the link. Happy New Year everybody -- I'm going to bed before Dick Clark pops on the tube. I'll probably celebrate the new year (an hour from now) in bed. G'night!

Posted by Jake on 12/31/03 @ 11:10 PM
Posted in Funny | Permalink

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