Can’t you just buy regular damn coffee anymore?!?!?

7-Eleven used to be one of the only places that you could get just basic, no frills, coffee (you certainly can’t walk into Starbucks and ask for it). Well, 7-Eleven has moved to a “Beverage Bar” setup, according to this press release:

The new 7-Eleven hot beverage bar will feature: five or more varieties of coffee (Exclusive Blend, Dark Mountain Roast, 100 Percent Colombian, Decaf, Flavored), four Italian-style flavored syrups (Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Irish Creme), five toppings (Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Vanilla, Chocolate, Mini- marshmallows), Steamed Milk Mix, Hot Chocolate made with Hershey’s Cocoa, Flavored Cappuccino, Half and Half and flavored creamers (French Vanilla, Hazelnut, Irish Creme), sugar and artificial sweeteners, and seven varieties of teabags (Black, Earl Grey, Green, French Vanilla, Orange Spice, I Love Lemon, Mint Medley) to be brewed fresh with hot water.

That equals out to over 1300 combinations of stuff. Link via Tara at PR Bop, who points out “Look, I can barely choose from all the cold drinks they have now. What am I going to do when it gets cold, I stagger in to the 7-Eleven, and I’m confronted with this beverage bar? I’ll tell you what: my brain will lock. I’ll probably end up getting Earl Grey with caramel syrup and mini-marshmellows or something.”