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Who's better: Oregon or Michigan?

In case you've been living in a hole here in Oregon, you have probably by now heard that No. 3 Michigan will be coming to Autzen Stadium to face No. 22 Oregon for a game this weekend. If you have been living in a cave, here's a story about it.

Well, there's a Michigan Alumni Association that has stated that they won't be travelling to the game. Here's the reasons why (according to a forward I just got from):

10. How scary can a team be that has a mascot that ends up on a plate at fancy restaurants?
9. Michigan has freshman chemistry classes with larger seating capacity than Autzen stadium.
8. Where the heck is Oregon, anyway?
7. Oregon plays in the junior varsity league called the Pac Ten.
6. The state of Oregon can't relate to those that actually PAY taxes.
5. You can't spell Oregon without "goon".
4. National football Championships: Michigan 11, Oregon 0.
3. Eugene who?
2. School creativty is so limited that it had to steal Donald Duck for its mascot.
1. The natural order of things: Wolverines, Beavers, Ducks.
Needless to say, the Oregon Alumni have sent a nice reply:
Here are the top ten reasons why you and your fellow Michigan Wolverines will remain hiding in your snow dens with eyes closed rather than join us on Saturday, September 20 for the 12:30 P.M. kick-off between Oregon and Michigan at On the Rocks:

10. Nike swoosh on Michigan uniforms is an Oregon thing.
9. There are lots of Ducks in Oregon. In Michigan, the Wolverine is extinct.
8. Ann Arbor - Home of the Wolverines or female tree?
7. The Ducks are not a prep team like Central Michigan or Houston.
6. Lloyd Carr is no Bo Schembechler. Hell, Lloyd Carr is no Mike Bellotti!
5. Members of the Weasel Family, Wolverines also known as skunk bears and gluttons.
4. Ed Martin, head weasel, Chris Webber, skunk bear and glutton.
3. Michigan Blue becomes Michigan Blew in a sea of Oregon Green.
2. Phil Knight has more money than the whole State of Michigan.
1. 55,000 Ducks fans in Autzen Stadium twice as loud as 110,000 Wolverine fans in Michigan Stadium.

Regardless, I know my dad will be at the game, and I know I'll be watching it. And as soon as the Central Oregon UO Alumni Association has a functional Web site, I'll link their way.

I got this list from my local alumni group, but credit goes to "Super" Dave Evans (President of the San Diego Ducks Club of the U of O Alumni Association) for this list.

Posted by Jake on 09/17/03 @ 11:32 AM
Posted in Funny | Permalink



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