This is what would happen if my wife was a stripper

Another gem from The Smoking Gun:

Early Saturday morning, David Buhler, 23, and a buddy visited The School House, a southern Michigan topless club, where the guys repaired to a couch to enjoy some adult entertainment. There they were approached by Kasey Ann Colvin, a 20-year-old stripper who hovered over Buhler and asked, "Do you want some of this?" According to the below Jackson Police Department report, Colvin, who had recently given birth, then shot something "out of her breast in a white milky form striking Buhler in the face going into his eyes and by his nose." Believing he'd been slimed with mother's milk, Buhler became angry and contacted the club manager, who apologized and offered him free soft drinks and lap dances.

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