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What if Dr. Laura answered phones for Microsoft?

Lately I've been listening to more talk radio on the AM dial, mostly KBND 1110. Why, I don't know. But one day I was driving home (I have a 30-minute commute) and Dr. Laura was on the radio. I had never heard her show before, but I noticed one thing about her:The advice she gives to the people who call is, generally, for the caller to change their attitude/outlook/whatever about things, going by the attitude that you need to change yourself before you can change others (which I agree with -- mostly). Granted, I've only listened to 30 minutes of the show about 4 times, so this opinion is a very unsupported one. Most of the time its the appropriate action, but there are sometimes where I think to myself "Is this really the caller's fault?"

Then I thought a little bit more. I've worked answering phones for software companies doing tech support, and generally, user-errors accounted for most of my calls. But at Microsoft, for example, many calls they probably get are bugs in their software.

So what if Dr. Laura answered phones for Microsoft? I think the conversation might go something like this:

Dr. Laura: Jim in Delaware, thank you for calling Dr. Laura.

Jim: I thought I was calling Microsoft?

Dr. Laura: My name is Dr. Laura, Jim, how can I help you.

Jim: Whatever ... Anyway, my computer is brand new and doesn't have anything installed on it except Windows XP, and I installed Office XP on it, and after I rebooted, I got a blue screen with a bunch of code and a cryptic error message. What do I do?

Dr. Laura: Are you sure the screen was blue?

Jim: Yes. Very much blue.

Dr. Laura: Are you really sure?

Jim: Well, if I squint, it kinda turns green.

Dr. Laura: No, blue is OK, I just wanted to make sure you were sure.

Jim: Oh...uh, OK. So what can I do?

Dr. Laura: What would you like to do?

Jim: I'd like to have a functional computer -- what do you think?!?

Dr. Laura: That's fine, Jim. But are you sure the computer's the one that needs to change?

Jim: Well, the computer is running your operating system, and I tried to install your Office software, so I'm pretty sure the problem is yours.

Dr. Laura: Let's not make accusations, Jim.

Jim: Fine. Just tell me how to fix this and I'll get on my merry way.

Dr. Laura: I think you know what you have to do Jim.

Jim: Buy a Mac?

Dr. Laura: *click* Cindy in Detroit, thank you for calling Dr. Laura.

Or something like that...

Posted by Jake on 03/30/03 @ 02:44 PM
Posted in Geekdom | Permalink



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What if Dr. Laura answered phones for Microsoft? - from utterlyboring.com from Sleaze Report Ruminations on 03/31/03 @ 09:53 PM:
The little posting at the following link via The Oregon Blog is hilarious. UtterlyBoring.com: What if Dr. Laura answered phones for Microsoft? (Read More)

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