Ruminations for the Day

From Ruminate.com:

So, now she thinks I'm a "typical, insensitive male." Who knew that you're not supposed to use your feet to give a foot massage?

Since beef is "What's for Dinner" and pork is the "Other White Meat," I think the poultry industry should trademark "Chicken: What Everything Exotic or Visually Off-Putting Ultimately Tastes Like -- Only Cheaper!"

By devoting years of my life to sitting quietly by myself, I've finally become one with the world, if by "world" we mean several hundred bags of corn chips and this couch. I'm also content to just "be" with the remote, but that's icing on the cake.

If you really love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, chain it to a pipe in the basement, because you don't want to take a chance like that twice.

I bet Yoda wouldn't have talked backwards all the time if it weren't for Frank Oz's hand up his ass.

My girlfriend must be pretty impressed with my member, because every night she covers it in relish. That's quite a condiment, huh?

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