Utterly Boring dot com

Criminal asked to give the s**t back -- literally

Link via Fark. Full story at this Chicago Tribune article (free registration required, so I'll sum it up below). But here's the story: A jewel thief walked into a jewelry store, and asked to see some expensive jewels. He picked one up and then started coughing and covered his mouth to cough. Then he returned the diamond. But it wasn't the same diamond. It was a piece of junk. He had swallowed the expensive one. And the jeweler started screaming. They held him until the Chicago PD got there. But it was already internal.

Here's the problem: They've got a suspect with a large 3-carat diamond worth $40,000 in him, but, according to the article, he can't be charged until that diamond is recovered. It hasn't moved through his digestive system completely, and doctors told police to not give him any laxatives as it could shoot the thing through there and cut up his intestines (where it's currently lodged, according to X-rays).

But doctors said they could feed him.

So what do they do? They ordered some greasy White Castle sliders that should move the thing through. And they have appointed an officer to feed them to him.

That would be a crappy job.

Posted by Jake on 03/07/03 @ 01:31 PM
Posted in Funny | Permalink

What are you doing down here? Don't you have something better to do? Like Go Back To The Top of the page, or even see who created this site? This site is © 2001 - 2019 by the Utterly Boring folks at UtterlyBoring.com. Steal my content, as I probably did, too, just link to my site or the original site. Batteries not included. One size fits all. Not for off-road use. Not for internal use. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.