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MovableJive Text Formatting

One of the neat new features of MovableType 2.6 is the ability for plug-in authors to write text formatting plug-ins. Ken at Breaking Windows told me about Textile, which I could see as being incredibly useful. However, I'm having a ball playing with MovableJive, which will translate your entries in to a whole pile of fun translations (like Swedish Chef, Cockney, Texas Drawl, etc...). See the "more" link below for translations of my Ruminations post in all the various languages.

Swedish Chef:
My viffe-a ounly leekes tu hefe-a sex in pleces iff zeere-a is a risk ouff getting cuoght. Vell, I *hefe-a* cuoght her -- nuomeruous times, in fect.

Zeere-a's zees gurl vhere-a I leefe-a -- ifery dey I tell her huo I'd lufe-a tu bruosh her lung, beuotiffuol heur, our gu skeepping thruough a feeld ouff leelees huond in huond vit her, our shere-a a buttle-a ouff vine-a oun a heelltup ouferluokeeng a felley in Tuoscuony. Und ifery dey her unsver is zee-a seme-a: "I'm nut illuoed tu freternize-a vit zee-a prisuners."

Sceentists sey a dug's muout is cleuoner thuon a huomuon's muout. Zeet mey be-a truoe-a, buot my viffe-a ilmust nefer keesses me-a right iffter leeckeeng her ouvn buott.

Vhee-a I dee-a, I'd leeke-a tu be-a scettered oufer my humetuon. Buot nut, leeke-a, cremeted our unyzeeng.

Sumetimes I zeenk I'fe-a tutelly vested my leeffe-a. Zeet's vhee-a I cell my Mum, und she-a ilveys reessuores me-a: "Yuou're-a nut a feeluore-a, buy. Zeet's juost zee-a crystel met telkeeng!" Muzeers ire-a greet zeet vey.
Burk Burk Burk!

Scientists say a dog's North and South is cleaner than an 'uman's North and South. That may be true, but me ole lady almost never kisses me right after lickin' 'er own butt.

Wen I die, I'd like ter be scattered over me 'ometown. But not, like, cremated or anyfink.

Sometimes I think I've totally wasted me life. That's wen I call me Mom, and she always reassures me: "Yer're not a failure, boy. That's just the bleedin' crystal meth talking! Honest guv!" Muvvers are great that way.

Hunting Wabbits:
My wife onwy wikes to have sex in pwaces if dewe is a wisk of getting caught. Weww, I *have* caught hew -- numewous times, in fact.

Dewe's dis giww whewe I wive -- evewy day I teww hew how I'd wove to bwush hew wong, beautifuw haiw, ow go skipping dwough a fiewd of wiwies hand in hand wif hew, ow shawe a bottwe of wine on a hiwwtop ovewwooking a vawwey in Tuscany. And evewy day hew answew is de same: "I'm not awwowed to fwatewnize wif de pwisonews."

Scientists say a dog's mouf is cweanew dan a human's moud. Dat may be twue, but my wife awmost nevew kisses me wight aftew wicking hew own butt.

When I die, I'd wike to be scattewed ovew my hometown, uh-hah-ha-ha. But not, wike, cwemated ow anyding.

Sometimes I dink I've totawwy wasted my wife. Dat's when I caww my Mom, and she awways weassuwes me: "You'we not a faiwuwe, boy. Dat's just de cwystaw mef tawking!" Modews awe gweat dat way.

My mama only likess t'gotss' sex in places if dere be some risk uh gettin' caught. Sheeit, ah' *gotss'* caught ha' -- numerous times, in fact.

Dere's dis goat where ah' live -- every day ah' tell ha' how I'd love t'brush ha' long, beautiful fro, o' go skippin' drough some field uh lilies hand in hand wid her, o' share some bottle uh wine on some hilltop overlookin' some valley in Tuscany. Slap mah fro. Right On! And every day ha' answa' be de same, dig dis: "I'm not allowed t'fraternize wid de prisoners."

Scientists say some dog's moud be cleana' dan some human's moud. Dat may be true, but mah' mama mos' neva' kisses me right afta' lickin' ha' own butt.

When ah' die, I'd likes t'be scattered ova' mah' plantashuntown. 'S coo', bro. But not, likes, cremated o' anydin'.

Sometimes ah' dink I've totally wuzted mah' life. What it is, Mama. Right On! Dat's when ah' call mah' Mom, and she always reassho' nuffs me, dig dis: "You's're not some failure, boy. Slap mah fro. Right On! Dat's plum da damn crystal med rapin'. Right On!" Moders are great dat way. Slap mah fro. Right On!

German Accent:
Mein vife only likes to haf sex in places if zere iss a r-r-risk uff gettingkt kaught. Vell, I *haf* kaught her -- numerous times, in fact.

Zere's zis girl vhere I life -- efery day I tell her how I'd lofe to brusch her long, beautiful hair, or go skippingkt zrough a field uff lilies hent in hent mitt her, or schare a bottle uff vine on a hilltop oferlookingkt a falley in Tuscany. Undt efery day her answer iss ze same: "I'm nicht allowed to fraternize mitt ze prisoners."

Schcientists say a dog's mouzz iss kleaner zan a human's mouzz. Zat may be true, but mein vife almost nefer kisses me r-r-right after lickingkt her own butt.

Vhen I die, I'd like to be schcattered ofer mein hometown. But nicht, like, kremated or anyzzingkt.

Sometimes I zink I'fe totally vasted mein life. Zat's vhen I kall mein Mom, undt sche always r-r-reassures me: "You're nicht a failure, boy. Zat's chust ze krystal mezz talkingk Seig Heil!" Mozzers are great zat vay.

Texas Drawl:
My waf monly lahks tuh hav sex in places hif thuhre iz uh risk uh gitting caught. Well, Ah *have* caught her -- numerous toms, in fact.

There's thus girl whar Ah live -- evury day Ah tell her how I'd luv tuh brush her long, butiful hair, or go skipping thoo uh field uh lilies hand in hand with her, or share uh bottle uh wine on uh hilltop ovurlooking uh valley in Tuscany. And evury day her answer iz thuh same: "Ahm not allowed tuh fraternize with thuh prisoners."

Scientists say uh dog's mouth iz klaneer than uh human's mouth. That maey bay true, but mah waf almost nevur kisses may rot after licking her own butt.

When Ah die, I'd lahk tuh bay scattered ovur mah hometown. But not, lahk, cremated or anything.

Sometimes Ah thank Ahv totally wuzted mah lahf. That's wheyun Ah call mah Mom, an shay always reassures me: "You're not uh failure, boy. That's gist thuh crystal meth tawking!" Mothers iz great thuht way.

Valley Girl:
My wife only likes to have sex in places if there is like, ya know, a risk of gettin' caught. Well, I *have* caught that chick -- numerous times, in fact.

Like, there's this chick where I live -- every day I tell that chick how I'd love to brush that chick long, beautiful hair, or go skippin' through a field of lilies hand in hand with that chick. or share a bottle of wine on a hilltop overlookin' a valley in Tuscany. And every day that chick answer is like, ya know, thuh same: "I'm not allowed to fraternize with thuh prisoners."

Scientists say a dog's mouth is like, ya know, cleaner than a human's mouth. That may be true, but my wife almost never kisses me right after lickin' that chick own butt.

When I die, I'd like to be scattered over my hometown. Man, not, like, cremated or anythin'.

Sometimes I think I've totally wasted my life. That's when I call my Mom, and she always reassures me: "You're not a failure, boy. That's just thuh crystal meth talkin'!" Mothers are awesum that way.

Posted by Jake on 02/20/03 @ 01:03 PM
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