Friends, your sex is making me too jealous
A great Daily Northwestern column about an apartment dweller who's bothered by her neighbor's loud sex. I just love this quote:
Dear neighbors: I'm not sure who you are or which apartment you live in, but I know you, and I'm sure you will be able to recognize yourselves by this description. You're the people who started having very loud sex at 1:48 this morning and did not finish until 2:27. While your stamina is to be commended, I still am hoping that your genitalia turns blue and falls off so as to prevent any repeat performances.
Because when I say loud, I don't mean I heard a few moans and inferred that a bit of the old "in-and-out" was going on. No, by loud I mean porno-style screaming, just-got-out-of-prison-and-haven't-seen-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-in-two-years boinking.
And it only gets better from there. Funny stuff.