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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 33-year-old dad, percussionist, sysadmin, Web developer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the service manager at Weston Technologies. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.

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Humor has Returned to Southwest Airlines

I've personally never flown Southwest (that I can remember), so I've never experienced this, but rumor has it they've got some pretty funny flight attendants. After Sept. 11, they stopped being funny for a bit, but the humor has returned. From this Wall Street Journal article, some quotes:

  • "OK, people, it's open seating, just like at church -- saints up front, sinners in back,"
  • "Remember, this isn't a furniture store. You're only renting this seat for an hour"
  • "Please place your seatback, tray table and intern in the full upright and locked position."
  • In the unlikely event of a cabin depressurization, "please secure your mask and then decide which child you like better."
  • "If you smoke in this airplane, the FAA will fine you $2,000 [pause] and at those prices, you might as well fly Delta!"
  • "Everyone on the plane's left side, toward the terminal, put your faces in the window and smile so our competitors can see what a full flight looks like."

    I think I need to start flying that airline.

    Posted by Jake on 01/13/03 @ 01:35 PM
    Posted in Cool | 4 Comments | Permalink



    4 Comments

    Todd said on 01/14/03 @ 04:05 AM:
    The flight attendants ARE that funny on SW flights! I've flown several, and have actually heard some of those... (I'm wondering if they're scripted, cuz the ones I heard were pretty much exactly that).

    On of my favourites:

    "OK people, get your tush in a cush so we can push!"

    :-)

    Todd

    Leigh said on 01/31/04 @ 08:31 PM:
    yea SW airlines is a trip... i went on a flight without any knowledge of the humorous experience it might be... throughout the flight several cracks were made, and as we were landing the pilot let out a loud "wOOOah BESSIE!" and of course.. as we exited we were bid farewell with a lovely (to the tune of Barney's 'i love you')

    We love you!
    You love us!
    We're much faster than a bus,
    We hope you'll come back for our hospitality,
    Marry one of us and you'll fly free!


    cea wall said on 05/15/05 @ 09:27 AM:
    Shortly after takeoff the pilot said over the intercom:

    'and tonight, the dinner menu is a choice of lamb with sping asparagus, or chateaubriand with russet tomatoes and a salad. Oh WAIT! That was last night's menu. Tonight, you have a choice of chicken, or ravioli. Sorry 'bout that"

    Brendan said on 09/02/08 @ 04:53 PM:
    Here's another one:

    "In case the captian decides to have a pool party, please use one of the four exits; we'll be right behind you with the beer & peanuts. If the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from above your seat. Pull on the mask to start the flow of alcohol..er...oxygen."

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