UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 30-year-old dad, percussionist, freelance Web designer, consultant and jack-of-all-trades computer geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the IT Director and Ad Designer at both Sunray and Discover Sunriver. He has LinkedIn, MySpace, Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him.
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If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands.
Translating the 12,000-page UN Report on Iraq so Bush Can Understand It
H. Bruce Miller is a columnist for a local community site, Bend.com (he was a former Bulletin columnist, I remember). He recently wrote a hillarious column, translating the 12,000-page UN report on Iraq into language George W. Bush can understand: Dr. Suess.
GEORGE W. BUSH said on 01/02/05 @ 04:11 PM: DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT I STOLE OVER 8,500 PAGES OUT OF THE IRAQI DECLARATION PRIOR TO GOING TO WAR. I DID THIS BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT I AM A GOD DAMNED LIAR! ALSO, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I DID NOT WANT THE AMERICAN TO KNOW THAT I AM AN IMPERIALIST PSYCHO WHO BELIEVES THAT I MUST SPREAD THE WEALTH TO MY FAR RIGHT CORPORATE SPONSORS--KNOWING THAT THE SHORT HAIRED REDNECKED BLOGGERS WORLD WIDE (MY BEST BUDDIES = WHITE DUDES, YOU KNOW) WOULDN'T CARE. THOSE IDIOTS WOULD BELIEVE ANYTHING I TELL THEM. ANYWAY, I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD TELL YOU I RIPPED OUT THOSE PAGES AND THEN, LOL, TOLD EVERYONE HOW IRAQ DIDN'T COME CLEAN AND LEFT STUFF OUT!! LOL!! AREN'T I A CLEVER LIAR?
BE SURE TO VOTE FOR ME! I STAND FOR "VALUES"!!! LOL